Twenty Questions with Barry Glynn

Barry Glynn - manic Pitchcare poster and, apparently, not a great lover of dog owners!

Who are you? Barry Glynn, Head Groundsman at East Moseley Cricket Club in Surrey.

Family status? Married, with two grown up sons, both cricketers of course.

Who's your hero and why? Me, I think I am just great.

What is your dream holiday? A cricket tour to Barbados.

What annoys you the most? There isn't enough room here to answer.

What would you change about yourself? Nothing.

Who wouldn't you like to be? Someone other than me.

Favourite record, and why? Imagine, by John Lennon, because it suggests that religion is a pile of rubbish!

Who would you choose to spend a romantic evening with? Not, not me - my wife or, if she wasn't around, Michelle Pfeiffer.

If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Buy a hover cover.

If you were to describe yourself as a musical instrument, what would you be and why? A tuba, because it takes a lot of hot air to play it.

What's the best advice you have ever been given? Don't tell the boss that - I ignored it, of course!

What's your favourite smell? An opposing batsman soiling himself - hasn't happened much in the last 30 years!

What do you do in your spare time? Lol, the 'occasional' posting on Pitchcare, plus some golf and, until recently, martial arts.

What's the daftest work related question you have ever been asked? Can you make the ends slow but the middle of the pitch pacey?

What's your favourite piece of kit? Ransomes Super Certes mower - that's because it's the only thing I've got that's under 25 years of age!

What three words would you use to describe yourself? Big, opinionated and hungry.

What talent would you like to have? Telepathy.

What makes you angry? Virtually everything.

What law/legislation would you like to see introduced? A law which allows you to shoot fat, thick, tatooed chavs who let their dogs mess on my outfield - or any other dog owners, come to that!